Moments in Time, Part I
by Angry Warrior
Summary: This is my first really large Castle fic, so be kind. WARNING: This story contains abuse, and a dead child. The summary, I thought that the episodes 'Target' and 'Hunt' ended a little too neatly, so I threw a wrench in it. Enjoy1\ AW
1. Moments in Time, Part I

Paste your document here...

Moments in Time  
Part I

By: AW

© February 2013

It was the moment we fell into bed together.

The moment my life changed forever.

Alexis and Martha were gone; Alexis to her graduation all-nighter, and Martha to the Hamptons.

The night played out and we made love like there was no tomorrow. We made love with an abandon I had never felt.

'One and done'? Maybe this was it. Maybe this is what it was supposed to be like.

He had told me before that 'I was in nowhere relationships with men I didn't love.' Well here I was.

I wanted him; and I was pretty damned sure I loved him.

This had been going on for six months now.

We'd made it past the Meredith moment.

We'd made it past the 'Gates Valentine's Day' debacle.

And here we were, faced with the most horrific moment a parent can face.

Alexis was gone.

Taken from a late night college lecture.

He stared into my eyes trying to make me understand the love he held for his daughter. "They handed me a tiny bundle; a little person. She stared at me and a magical feeling overcame me. I knew it was love."

_Where does that leave me?_ I thought.

I let my head fall and quickly came back up. Feeling a tear fall down my face with a sadness I felt for a child who was not even biologically mine.

Would he love any child we produced as he did Alexis: his first born.

Would he want to marry me and love me forever?

I let the selfish thoughts disappear. I had to think of Alexis.

I sighed and let my hand fall to my belly; it wasn't for sure, but I was three days late.

Now wasn't the time for this we had to think of Alexis: His first born.

He loved her more than anything; more than he loved me.

I smiled to myself; this child would not be a replacement; but maybe a chance to start over.

I walked up to Rick, trying to make everything look as normal as possible. "Rick I have to go check something with Lanie; I need to follow a lead. I'll be back."

He nodded distracted and off I went.

I exited the precinct and automatically went to my car.

I sat in the car and stared at my flat tummy. Was there a baby there for Rick?

I went to the drug store; paid my fifteen dollars and left for my favorite coffee shop,

So there I was inside the bathroom of the coffee shop squatting over the toilet holding the stick waiting for a sign.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when my phone went off. I picked it up and looked at the call display showing me it was Lanie. "Beckett."

I listened, "Yes Lanie, I'll be right there."

I went to leave the washroom almost forgetting the reason I was there in the first place.

I picked up the stick and shoved it in my purse not even looking at the result and went and paid for a coffee and a bear claw before heading back to the precinct.

When I entered the precinct I made a bee-line right for the morgue.

I stood there unmoving in the doorway to Lanie's domain, finally she approached me. "Hey girl, what is up with you?"

I shook my head, breaking the spell. "Sorry?"

"Kate what is wrong?"

I handed her the bear claw, and pulled the test out of my purse.

She stared at me, "What is this?"

Lanie's mouth hung open. "Oh my god. You made little Castle babies."

And now it felt real to me.

I was pregnant with Rick Castle's baby.

I opened my mouth, "We need to find Alexis or he'll never forgive me."

Lanie shook her head, "Yes we do, but don't you think you have something to share with 'writer-boy'?"

I guess I did; I was carrying his second child; but I had to find his first born before anything else.

I let the tears fall, the fear encompassing me. "What if this isn't what he wants Lanie?"

She rose her eyebrows and stared at me, "Then that's too bad, 'cause this is what he got."

I almost laughed at how sure Lanie seemed to be. She handed me the test, gave me the coffee I'd gotten for Rick and off I went.

I entered the bullpen and handed Castle his coffee.

He nodded his thanks, silence encompassing him in the fear he had for his missing child. "Rick we have to talk."

He looked at me hopeful, "Did we get another lead?"

I shook my head no. "I've been up for 48 hours straight. It's not good for the baby; let's go home and get some sleep."

Rick shook his head, "Baby?"

I took his hand and led him out to my car.

We drove all the way back to the loft in silence.

As we were walking up the stairs, he turns me around. "When? How? We were careful; are you sure?"

I let another tear fall down my face, "I'm sorry."

He tilted my head up so I was staring him in the face. "Hey, Kate. I was just surprised." He paused, "When did you find out?"

I smiled, "Two hours ago in the coffee shop bathroom."

He gave me a watery smile. "Why didn't you tell me you thought you were pregnant? I could have been there for you."

"Until I checked my calendar, I wasn't even sure I was late."

He pulled me gently closer and gave me a kiss. We laid in the bed and Rick's hand slid down to my still flat stomach. He whispered in my ear, "I love you, and this baby; but I need to find Alexis."

I nodded and covered his hand with mine. "I know, and we will." I sighed, "But I'm exhausted and we both need sleep Castle."

He kissed the side of my head and we both fell into a fitful sleep.

[10 HOURS LATER – CASTLE LOFT]

I awoke as my alarm began blaring; warning me it was time to get up.

I smelled breakfast being made in the kitchen and slipped out of the room, my pajamas still covering my form.

I was about to make my way downstairs when I heard Rick phone go off.

It was Alexis. I phoned in a trace at the precinct then went to Rick's phone. "Where are you Alexis?"

She began babbling. "We were in France. Now I'm not sure." She took a breath; I stared at Alexis. "We'll get you Alexis."

Rick walked in as he heard Alexis scream and the phone went blank.

"Castle –"

"Where is she; and why didn't you call me when you heard my phone go off and you knew it was Alexis?"

"Rick I had to act fast."

He stared at me, hatred in his eyes. "That's my only daughter Kate!"

I glanced at him. "I know where she is."

Castle let his head fall to his hands. "We have to talk to Sara's parents and then we have to go get them."

All of a sudden reality came crashing down on me. "I can't fly Rick."

He shook his head, "What do you mean you can't fly? That's my daughter."

"I'm pregnant Rick."

"And that's my daughter, alone in France."

I shook my head unsure, "And this is your daughter or son as well."

Castle froze, "That child," He pointed at my belly. "Is not even alive yet; Alexis is."

I stared at him; I didn't want to have this discussion now. I drew in a deep breath and rubbed my hand over my stomach, making the decision. "Okay we'll get her back."

Castle nodded. "Thank you Kate."

I hadn't even checked with a doctor. I had no idea even how far along I was. I had no idea if it was dangerous to fly.

I had no idea if I would survive losing this baby; but I knew that Castle wouldn't survive losing his.

[END PART I]


	2. Moments in Time, Part II

Moments in Time

Part II

by: AW

© AW February 2013

I had made a promise to Rick. I would find his daughter; even if it meant sacrificing mine.

I let a tear fall down my face and made my way down to the morgue. I needed to talk to Lanie.

She saw me standing there before I even realized; before I knew what I had to do.

She walked up to me and grabbed my shoulders. "Kate; what happened?"

I drew in a deep breath. "I told him."

She stared at me, "Then why do you look like someone took your most precious wish and squashed it? What did he do?"

I sniffled and wiped the tears that were forming in my eyes. "He was happy at first. Then we got a message from Alexis. We know where she is."

Lanie smiled, "That's great; but what's the catch?"

I sighed, "Can I fly while I'm pregnant?"

Lanie shook her head, "Where is she?"

"France. That's like a 20 hour flight. Can I fly while I'm pregnant?"

Lanie shook her head, "Well you can but there are no guarantees it will be safe for the baby Castle you have in there."

I nodded, "I figured; it hasn't even been confirmed by a doctor. I don't even know how far along I am or if I am for sure pregnant."

"Oh honey, come here." She pulled out a needle. "Let me draw some blood and I'll get your some answers and then you can figure out what you want to do."

Kate bit her bottom lip, "If we don't get Alexis. He'll never forgive me."

"If you take the chance with this baby will he ever forgive you?"

I took in a deep breath; I was in a no-win situation. He was right about one thing though; Alexis was alive. "Lanie, Castle needs to get Alexis back. If I don't get her back, he'll never forgive me."

Lanie nodded and continued to draw the blood. Once she was done she took the blood and put it on her test table after labeling it. "Let me get the results for sure; then you can worry about everything else."

I drew in a deep breath. "I'm not even sure I want to know. If I don't know for sure and something happens then it can be classified as an accident…right?"

Lanie approached her best friend. "Is that what you really want?"

I drew in a deep breath. "I want this baby and I can't lose her."

"Oh, sweetie; I know; but we haven't even figured out if you are pregnant."

I sighed, "What are the chances that a home pregnancy test is not right? How often are they wrong?!"

Lanie sighed, "Almost never; but we don't know how far along you are and how dangerous flying will be for you."

"And I haven't seen a doctor…"

Lanie looked at her friend, "I am a doctor, and I can tell you what the chances are; but I'm not an OBGYN."

I took in a deep breath, "I'll take what I can get right now."

Lanie watched me try to get my breathing under control. "Have the two of you talked about more kids?"

I shook my head, "An offhanded comment at the sci-fi convention; nothing really serious. He said he wanted the option of more kids."

I heard a beeping and Lanie checked out the readings on her computer. "Well it looks like he's going to have that chance. Looks like about six weeks Kate."

I got myself together. "Okay well how dangerous is it for me to fly while I'm six weeks pregnant?"

Lanie sighed, "I don't think you're high risk, and you're healthy. So you should be okay."

I nodded and went to meet Castle.

[THREE HOURS LATER – CASTLE LOFT]

I walked into his home. I had packed my bags, I had checked with a doctor; I had done everything I could. "Rick; let's figure out how we're going to do this."

Castle stared at me. "I already figured it out. We're leaving this afternoon; I have two tickets booked to Paris and we'll go from there. We will find her."

I nodded and stared at him. "I checked with a doctor. I am for sure pregnant about six weeks along and since it's early it should be safe enough for me to fly."

Rick nodded and stared at me. He came over and put a hand over my belly. "This little one needs her big sister Alexis with her."

I smiled, "Her?"

He laughed, "Sorry, I've only ever had a girl."

I nodded. "How long do you think we'll be gone?"

Rick sighed, "As long as it takes to get my daughter back."

I sighed. "I hope my clothes fit for that long."

He stared at me and pulled me close to him, letting his hand drop down to my belly. "I love you Kate, and if you need more clothes, I'll buy them for you."

I pulled on the waist of my pants and noticed that my slim fit jeans were starting to get a little tighter. Before I took the test, I just thought I was maybe putting on a little weight. I sighed and knew if we were there for more than a couple of weeks, the clothes I had probably would no longer fit.

I sighed. "Are you sure you want to do this Rick?"

He stared at me astounded, "What go get Alexis?"

I let a small smile encompass my face. "No have a baby? You just had one move out; do you really want to start over again?"

Rick pulled me close to him and gently kissed me on the top of the head. "If this child chose us, we really don't need to be asking these questions do we?"

I laughed, "I suppose not. If this kid is as stubborn as his father, he'll make it."

Castle grinned at me, "Him?"

"Well I figured if you wanted a girl, I'd say I want a boy."

He smiled at me, "Now let's get our oldest daughter back."

'Our daughter', he referred to Alexis as their daughter. When had it come to this point? When had things changed? Alexis knew who her mother was. What was going to happen next time Meredith showed up and saw Kate large with her ex-husband's child?

I let a smile grace my features, "Our child?"

Rick blushed. "We're going to be a family. Meredith was never much of a mother to Alexis, if you're willing… I'd like you to be her step mother."

I watched as Rick dug a diamond solitaire ring out of his pocket, "And my wife."

I stared at him my hands shaking, surprised. Was he just asking because he knocked me up?

Rick watched the wheels turning in my head and knew what I was thinking. "It's not just because you're carrying my baby. I've had this ring for nearly a year now."

I was shocked we had only been dating for six months now. "You were thinking about this before we even got together?"

Castle smiled. "I've loved you since almost the first moment I saw you."

I nodded and placed the ring carefully on my finger. "Then I guess we have to go and find your daughter. What time is the flight?"

"Two hours."

I yawned the last couple of days had been grueling. "I'm going to lie down for an hour or so; we have a while before we have to leave."

Rick nodded and off I went to bed.

Lanie had warned me that I might be a little more tired with the child growing in my body. I heard him and Martha talking downstairs and then I heard her say bye dear to her son, and then the door closed.

I assumed that Martha had to take off for another play she was in. Finally I went downstairs and stared at my 'fiancé's mother; Rick's mother. Where was Rick?

"Martha where's Rick?"

Martha looked around then dug in one of Rick's junk drawer desperately searching for his passport. Martha stuttered, "I – I'm not sure; but his passport's gone."

I shook my head, "He left without me."

Martha enveloped me in a hug. "I know he can be frustrating, but he needs to find her. That is his daughter Kate." She paused and stared at me, "As much as he loves you he loves his daughter more."

I began crying silent tears and nodded. "What about his other baby?"

Martha took a double take. "You're pregnant?"

I nodded, "I have to make sure he's okay and by proxy so is Alexis."

She nodded and watched my emotions flooding out of my body. "Go to the precinct and search from there. That's the best you can do at this point. I don't even know where he went or who he went to see."

I nodded my acceptance, but knew I had to somehow get to France and find Rick.

[TWO HOURS LATER – 12th PRECINCT]

I walked into the precinct with a bag packed for the trip. The precinct was empty of the normal occupants.

Esposito, Ryan and Lanie had left for the night as well as Gates.

For some reason I was pleased by the silence. No one asking me questions; no one questioning my motives.

I dug through my desk looking for the piece of paper containing the information of where Castle might have gone. He covered his tracks well, but then I remembered.

I had had Alexis' whereabouts checked. I knew approximately where she was and it was all I needed to start my quest for my family.

[END PART II]

document here...


	3. Moments in Time, Part III

Moments in Time, Part III

by: AW

© AW March 2013

[24 HOURS LATER – PARIS FRANCE]

I drew in a deep breath. I had to find him. I had taken the sketches that we had gotten of the man that was seen at all three crime scenes.

I had checked out the itinerary of which plane he had taken and where he was going. There were some advantages to being a cop – although I knew once I landed in Paris my standing held no clout.

I checked into a hotel, changed my clothes and went off in search of a clue.

I was an NYC Detective, I had to find something.

Finally after hours of questioning and searching I finally found a clue.

He had been in a café in Paris, speaking with a man that was shady; but seemed like the type of person that he would need in order to find their daughter.

I walked up to the man behind the counter and spoke with him. "Sir, I believe you said you had spoken to Richard Castle. I need to know where you took him."

That man laughed, "And who are you?"

I drew in a deep breath, "That man's wife and that girl's mother; and an NYC detective. So tell me what I need to know." The man just stared at me. "Little girl, that's what you are."

I was mad at this point. "I don't care what you think I am. That's my family and you are going to help me."

The man stared at me, trying to size me up. "I will take you and drop you off where I left Monsieur Castle and his contact; but the rest is up to you."

I nodded and knew that this was my only chance.

I went with the silent stranger, until I ended up in a forest.

I stared at the bodies which cluttered the floor of the forest and searched desperately for my future. He was not here.

Castle was still alive.

I hoped anyway, I needed him to be alive for me and for the child I carried.

And for Alexis because I would find her alive.

I felt for a pulse on the last body. Again nothing and let a shocked sound escape my body as I felt someone hit the back of my head: And then everything went blank.

[5 HOURS LATER – DETENTION]

I woke up slowly. My mouth was stuffed and my hands were tied. I heard the voice. "Where is Richard Castle?"

I stared unseeing at the man in front of me. He pulled the cloth out of my mouth hoping for a response that would tell him where Rick was. "I don't know."

I felt the backhand blow across my face and felt the blood seep out of my nose.

I stared at the man my green eyes glowing with fire.

"I'll ask you again little girl: Where is Richard Castle?"

I glared at him again, giving him the same answer. "I don't know. I came here looking for him myself."

[END PART III]


	4. Moments in Time, Part IV

[12th PRECINCT - 2 DAYS LATER]

Esposito stared at the empty desks where his boss and her writer-boy normally sat. Ryan was walking in as he looked at the empty bullpen.

"Hey Ryan, where are Beckett and Castle."

Ryan glared at Esposito. "I have worst thing to think about. My wife is on her period; do you have any idea how boring my weekend was?"

Esposito laughed at Ryan's misfortune. "Come on Kevin; we have two female bosses, and you haven't figured out when to duck yet?"

Ryan sighed, "But this is my real wife not my work wife!"

Esposito shot him a knowing look, "Hey for me they're one in the same."

The precinct seemed so empty without Castle and Beckett. Esposito looked to his partner, "You think they went after them on their own?"

Ryan drew in a deep breath, "You know how obsessed Beckett was with her mom's case. Things as they are now with Castle; do you think she'd do that again?"

"If they did they sure as hell didn't tell me. Besides do you really think they'd do that again?"

Ryan stared at him, "Jenny and I are trying to get pregnant. It's more of an idea than anything else at this point; but I know how I'd feel if Alexis were my child."

[CASTLE LOFT - SAME TIME]

Martha looked through the photo albums; showing just how much her son had grown over the years as well as her granddaughter.

She looked through baby pictures of her son and her granddaughter, knowing that in less than a year there'd be more.

She sighed and jumped out of her skin as she heard the phone ring. She picked up the phone and noticed the call display indicating it was the 12th precinct.

She could hope that her son and granddaughter were home safe and sound, but when the voice of a Hispanic male filled her ears, she knew it was one of two things: Either bad news of no news at all.

She answered the phone trying to sound as normal as possible. "Martha Rodgers."

"Do you have any idea where Castle and Beckett are?"

Martha almost laughed at the straightforward command that was given to her by the other detectives. She let a smile momentarily grace her features as she thought that even at the worst times some things never changed.

Her mood turned all of a sudden somber. "Richard's not home; and Beckett went with him?"

Esposito shook his head, "You mean not home like he's in the Hamptons, or not home like he went around the world looking for Alexis?"

"I'm not sure I want to answer that, but you have to tell me about Beckett? She said she was going to the precinct Friday and I haven't heard from her since. I thought she just went home for the weekend."

Esposito sighed, "No one has been able to get a hold of her or Castle since Friday..."

Martha knew exactly where Castle, and she was willing to bet that Kate was with him. "If you hear anything more please don't hesitate to call me."

"Will do Mrs. R." He hung up the phone and turned to Ryan. "That's the third time in four years they left us out of the loop. I can't work like this man."

Ryan patted him on the shoulder, "I'm sure they'll come back."

[DETENTION CENTER]

I slowly woke from my daze. The last thing I remembered was getting backhanded for not answering a question I didn't know the answer to.

I attempted to bring my hand down to move the locks of hair out of my face and looked up to discover I was shackled and hanging from the ceiling. "Hello!"

The man I had seen before and who had spoken to me before brutally backhanding me walked into the room.

He stared at me with something akin to hatred. "Well look at this. Sleeping Beauty has awoken."

I stared at him, thinking that he had the upper hand, and spit on the floor nearly missing his feet. An act of contempt and resentment.

The man brought my chin up so I was staring him in the face. "I'd be careful if I were you, I can make marks on your beautiful body that won't be as easily erased: A memory of somewhere that was not to be forgotten."

I just stared him down trying to win the war of wills when all of a sudden I felt my legs leave the ground as the chains were tightened.

All of a sudden my bravado got the best of me. "I wouldn't tell you where Rick is even if I knew where he was."

The man pulled back and once again hit me in the face as I felt my jaw lock. I realized with nothing to brace myself against the pain shot through my body at an alarming speed.

I spit the blood out of my mouth from where I had cut my cheek when gritting my teeth against the pain. "You will never find him, and if you do it will only be because he is attending your execution."

[12th PRECINCT - MORGUE]

Esposito slowly walked down the stairs, looking for Lanie. He saw her finishing the autopsy on the last body they'd recovered.

"Yo Lanie; do you have an idea what's up with Castle and Beckett? No one can get a hold of them."

Lanie stared at her boyfriend, "And you think if I did know I'd tell you?"

Esposito moved closer to Lanie, "Well we can make it pillow talk if you want."

Lanie laughed, "There'd better be a little something something in it for me."

Esposito smiled, "Isn't there always?"

Her lips approached his, "Why do you think I've stuck around for three years."

[FRANCE - SAFE HOUSE]

"You never told me she was that beautiful." He looked down in disgrace, "But you never really told me anything because you didn't know who I was or where I was."

Alexis shook her head, "Dad? Who is that?"

Castle smiled, "That's my dad."

Alexis' jaw dropped open. "The father that you never knew? The one that you've been searching your whole life for."

"That's the one. I probably won't see him again for a while, but at least I got to meet him."

Castle took one last glance at his father before he got on the jet with Alexis to head for home.

[CASTLE LOFT - 0400]

Martha was in a fitful sleep on the couch of the loft. She had been sleeping there for three days now, waiting for information on her son, her granddaughter... Kate. She just needed to know.

She heard the lock open and watched as her son and granddaughter entered. "Richard, Alexis!"

Rick hugged his mom, "We're home."

She shook her head confused, "What about Beckett?"

Rick laughed, "She's probably at home sleeping."

Martha stared at him, "She went after you. I thought she'd come home at the same time as you did. She basically lives here after all."

Castle was stunned, "She came after me? We were both going to go and try and find Alexis but in the end it wasn't worth the risk to the baby!"

Alexis stared at them both, "Baby? Kate's pregnant?"

Rick stared at his eldest and realized that he hadn't told her yet of the baby on the way.

Castle looked at his daughter, "It was a surprise. We weren't trying to get pregnant."

She grinned and ran over and hugged her father. "You think I'm mad? After the last two wife's you've had; Kate is good for you." She smiled larger, "And I'll finally be able to be a big sister."

He looked at his mother who wouldn't meet his eyes and he knew that wasn't a good sign. "Alexis, why don't you go upstairs to your room; I'll see you in the morning."

Alexis nodded, "I am tired after the long day I've had."

Castle nodded, "I'll see you later honey."

And Alexis trodded up the stairs and went to get ready for bed.

Castle turned towards his mother. "What happened?"

Martha stared at her son with a disapproving look. "She went after you, that's what happened."

"You can't possibly blame me for his. I left her behind because I didn't want her in a dangerous situation in her condition."

His mother let out a sigh. "Kate Beckett is going to do what she's going to do; but you originally saying she was to come with you probably didn't help matters."

He stared at her, "You're blaming me for this?"

"No I'm saying if you hadn't put that idea in her head, she probably wouldn't have followed you."

Rick stared at his mother, "You can't blame me for this. She will do what she wants when she wants whether I want her to or not."

"You could have stopped her Richard."

"No I couldn't have."

[DETENTION CENTER]

The man stared at me hanging on for dear life. "Where is Richard Castle?"

"I don't know."

The man looked at me once more and looked at the plank of wood that was sitting on the ground. "This is going to get more and more painful for you if you won't tell me what I want to know."

I shook my head, "I can't tell you something I don't know."

He picked up the plank and hit me with it; he hit me in the stomach and I felt the pain. The last thought I had before blacking out was of the child I was going to give Rick.

[CASTLE LOFT – 6AM]

Castle had still not slept. He could think of nothing but losing Kate. He had come too close to losing her on more than one occasion and to lose her because of something that he did – it was inexcusable.

"Mom, I need to find Kate."

His mother had gotten up at the crack of dawn and had made some coffee for anyone who wanted it. "I know dear, but you don't even know where she is."

Castle sighed, "I'm going to try to retrace her steps. Maybe Ryan or Esposito know something she was doing. Where she was going, what lead she was following up on."

Martha looked at her son who was looking more and more lost as the minutes went on. "Does she have any female friends at the precinct?"

"Just Lanie; why?"

"Oh come Richard have you learned nothing from me over the years? She probably has more answers for you then the boys do."

Castle opened his mouth to answer his mother, and then thought better of it. "I'll find her mom."

Martha nodded her head and stared at her only child, "Just make sure you come back and make sure you bring back your future wife with you."

Castle nodded and was gone.

[12TH PRECINCT]

Castle walked into the police station with only one thing on his mind; he had to make sure Kate came back to all of them.

Esposito saw him walk into the Precinct, "Yo Castle. Where's Beckett?"

Castle stuttered, "That's what I was going to ask you!"

Ryan tossed his two worth in, "You found Alexis though right?"

"Yeah but I didn't know Kate came to France to find me, until my mom told me."

"Mom's seem to know everything huh Castle. Too bad most of us don't get the chance to have that advice all the time."

Castle glared at Esposito. "We don't have time for jokes about my living arrangements; and for the record I pay the bills."

"Yeah well I guess when you're a world famous author, that's not a problem."

"Okay, okay I'm loaded alright, does Lanie know anything?"

"Well I tried all the moves last night and she wouldn't tell me anything, so I'm thinking she's not going to open up to you writer-boy."

Ryan looked at Esposito, "Exactly what did you try last night?"

"Nah, nah, I'm not telling you. You want pointers ask Jenny."

Castle looked at the boys, "And on that note, I think I will go see what I can get out of your girl." He paused and turned around to look at the boys, "And by the way, I bet Beckett can do it better."

Esposito and Ryan looked at each other shocked and watched Castle leave.

[CASTLE VEHICLE]

Castle sat in the car, thinking about what would be his next move. He had to find Kate and his baby. He had to make it okay.

He phoned his agent and got his private jet ready to go again back to France.

He would find Kate if it was the last thing he did.

[DETENTION CENTRE]

I awoke from the moment I was in with a pain in my stomach. It was like a period cramp only worse.

I knew what was happening. My pants felt wet and sticky; I knew what was going on the baby was no more. A child's life finished before it had started.

I felt the tears come to my eyes but knew I could not even raise my hand to brush them away.

The man walked in and stared at me. There was another man there too, he looked at my battered body and stared at the blood that was seeping from my body.

"I told you not to cause so much harm to the girl that she would be no good to us."

The other man stared at him. "I didn't hit her that hard."

"Not that hard? Look at the blood!"

I watched a shadow appear from behind and I realized with striking clarity that it was the same man that had been in the sketches that people had given descriptions of at the crime scenes.

I heard a bullet and flinched thinking that this was the end; and saw one of the men slump to the ground realizing I wasn't the target.

The other man turned around in surprise as I watched him get his throat slit and all of a sudden fear encompassed me. "So you're the love of his life."

I watched as he stared at the blood covering my lower body. "If I don't save you he'll never forgive me."

I stared confused at the man. "Why are you do intent on saving me? What's your role in all of this?"

The man smiled, "Let's just say I have a vested interest in all of this."

I felt myself go weak from the blood loss and passed out.

[CASTLE CAR]

Castle stared at his phone as it beeped. He had a text message.

It was from an unknown number. It said one simple sentence. "She'll be home soon."

And that was it.

Castle got out of the car and made his way back upstaires.

[CASTLE LOFT]

"Mother!"

Martha came flying down the stairs. "Oh Richard. You decided to stay a while longer?"

Rick walked up to his mother and showed her the text message. "Mom, I need to know what you know about my father."

[END PART IV]


	5. Moments in Time, Part V

Moments in Time, Part V

by: AW

(c) AW March 2013

Rick walked up to his mother and showed her the text message.

"Mom, I need to know what you know about my father."

Martha sighed. "I really don't know much about him honey. He was a one-night stand really and then he disappeared."

Rich was angry, "Don't give me this crap. Kate and my baby, their lives are on the line and I got this message." Castle held up his cell phone saying that Kate would be home soon. "Does that sound like something my father would do?"

Martha just stared at her son, "Your father lives by his own rules. He protects the ones he loves and punishes those he doesn't." She paused staring at her son. "Granted a lot of that has to do with the job he's in; but if he says he's going to do something – it's like you – he'll do it."

Rick shook his head, "So Kate will be coming back to us?"

"If it's in your father's power: It will happen."

[FRANCE – CIA MEDICAL FACILITY]

I awoke and had many different tubes attached. I was no longer in my soiled clothes, instead I was in a medical gown.

I felt empty and was sure that the child I had carried was no more.

I let a silent tear roll down my face and looked up to see the mystery man. I opened my mouth to voice the words. "Who are you? And why am I still alive."

The man smiled, "Someone is looking out for you. I'm sorry we couldn't save the baby."

I nodded knowing it was the truth, but feeling the pain of the loss.

He stared at me, "My son and you will get over this. You've been here for a few hours, now I think you're out of the woods and it's almost time for you to be going back to your family."

I closed my eyes and realized how tired I was. "Is Alexis okay?"

The man nodded and I felt the drugs encompass my being as I fell into a tired sleep."

[12th PRECINCT – NEW YORK]

Esposito heard the phone ring and stared at it seeing that it was from the hospital. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and motioned for Ryan to come over.

Ryan saw the call display and shrugged his shoulders showing Esposito that he had no idea what it was about.

Esposito picked up the phoned and answered the phone his guard up. "Esposito."

Ryan watched his partner nodding unsure what was being said. All of a sudden a smile erupted on Espo's face. "Come on Kevin we have to go to the hospital."

Ryan looked at him confused in askance of why.

"They found Kate."

[HOSPITAL]

I had woken up in the hospital in New York. I couldn't phone Rick; I lost his baby.

I saw Esposito, Ryan and Lanie walk through the doors, I had asked Esposito not to phone Castle just yet. Javie walked into the room wanting answers. "What happened?"

"I have a guardian angel."

Lanie stared at me. "How is Castle Junior doing?"

Ryan piped up, "What are you talking about? Alexis is fine."

I felt a tear stream down my face and glared at the boys showing that I needed alone time with Lanie. They left and it was only the two of us staring at each other, and I knew that Lanie knew.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry."

And the dam broke and then the tears started flowing.

[CASTLE LOFT]

Martha walked into the loft. Kate was coming home. She had been out shopping and couldn't help herself. She had picked up a tiny white sleeper for the new baby that would be coming.

Castle walked up to his mother staring at the bags. "Which card did you use this time?"

"I know I'm only only allowed to use the VISA you gave for spending on things for the house; but look at this isn't it adorable?"

Castle stared at the sleeper and remembered all the nights he had spent watching Alexis sleep in tiny clothes like these ones. "Yes mother it's cute; but she's only about two months pregnant! If you start now, the house will be full before the baby even comes."

Martha walked up to her son, "You know you used to love it when Alexis was this age."

Castle's phone rang. It was Lanie. Castle nodded and got up to leave.

His mother stared at him strangely, "Where are you going?"

"I have to get to the hospital."

Martha looked at her son worried, "Why?"

Castle didn't answer her, as he left the loft without another word.

[HOSPITAL]

Castle rushed into the hospital asking the charge nurse where Kate Beckett's room was.

He didn't even get a chance to make his way down the hall when he was stopped my Lanie. "She's fine Castle; but you have to be prepared. Don't ask her too many questions. She's spent the last couple of days being abused and beaten."

Castle stared at her, "I need to see her."

Lanie got in his face. "I understand that writer-boy, but don't upset her or I'll hurt you."

Castle nodded and rushed to Beckett's room.

[BECKETT'S ROOM - HOSPITAL]

I watched Castle rush into the room, and envelop me in a hug. "I'm so sorry; I should have listened to you."

He stared at Kate, "All that matters is you're safe and sound right now." He stared at his finacé. "And our baby."

I stared at Castle, I couldn't tell him. I love him so much and he might retract the proposal, and that would kill me.

I smiled at Castle, but I knew that he'd know that it wasn't a genuine smile. I knew he'd know it was nothing more than a show.

I bowed my head and secretly thought of the baby that I had, and that I'd lost.

The child that was our future; but was now no more.

I leaned back and let my eyes close and my head hit the pillow. I stared once again at Castle, "I'm sorry."

Rick looked at me strangely then grabbed my hand and turned to leave. "I'm gonna go and get some shut eye. I'll come visit you in the morning."

I nodded and off he went, my mind filled with images of what could have been.

And the news I had to give him.

[END PART V]


	6. Moments in Time, Part VI

Moments in Time, Part VI  
by: AW

(c) March 2013

I awoke with a start; the darkness and shadows encompassing my mind and my life.

Images of the dream of loneliness and emptiness came flooding back to me with a speed I had not experienced since the memories of my shooting filled my nights.

I laid back and attempted to let sleep take me over once again; but I knew there would be no more sleep and no more dreams for me tonight.

[4 HOURS LATER – HOSPITAL]

I watched Lanie walk into my room. I knew Castle wanted to come get me, but I had told him that there was no need Lanie had already volunteered.

I remember the silence on the other end of the line, and it felt like something beautiful dying; the end of a life we had just begun to mould.

"Hey girl, feeling better?"

I felt my eyes attempt to stare into Lanie's dark orbs, but the emotions I was feeling would be seen by her immediately, so I turned to pack.

Lanie shook her head confused at the reaction and walked up to me, sitting on the bed next to my suitcase. Castle's father had been nice enough to leave me a change of clothes for the day I left the hospital.

I pulled on the jeans and sweater and turned to Lanie. "I'm ready to go,"

Lanie silently nodded and we headed to the car.

[CASTLE LOFT – 30 MINUTES LATER]

I walked into the loft; Lanie trailing behind. Castle came up to me and hugged me so tight I thought I would burst. I stared at him unsure of what to say when I really looked at him. He looked as if he hadn't slept in a week.

I didn't see Alexis anywhere and those were my first thoughts. "Where's Alexis?"

Rick looked at me, "Shouldn't it be you and little Castle we worry about? Alexis is fine. I have to make sure she doesn't have nightmares again. It's been a tough couple of days."

I smiled. I loved the way he looked after his daughter; putting her ahead of everyone. "You look like hell Rick. You need your sleep too. Maybe you should try to get a good night's sleep and I'll get up if there are any problems with your daughter."

He stared at me almost refusing the offer. Thinking it was his burden alone to carry and I stared at him letting love and understanding fill my eyes. "Okay. I haven't slept well since we came back from France." He stared at me. "I'm so glad you're home safe Kate."

I nodded, "Me too."

I watched as Castle's eyes began to droop. "Go to bed; I'll get up with Alexis if there are any problems."

I watched as Rick made his way to bed. Dragging his feet, almost falling asleep sitting at the table.

"I hope you're going to join me soon?"

I nodded, "I'll be there as soon as I take care of something."

He acknowledged my response and headed for our room.

I drew in a deep breath and played with the engagement ring that was adorning my ring finger. I had to tell him; I just wasn't sure how or when. At this point really the only people who knew were Lanie and Rick's dad.

I heard a rustling and watched as Martha appeared. She had yet to welcome me home and I knew there was going to be a big deal. "Oh Kate. I'm so glad you're back."

She approached me and gave me a big hug. I watched her pull a present out from behind her back.

I smiled. "Thanks Martha; whatever it is I'm sure it will be perfect."

She pulled away and nudged me to open the parcel. I began pulling baby blue and pink paper out of the bag. I knew this was going to be something to do with the child I no longer carried.

I tried to keep my face impassive as I pulled out a little white baby outfit.

I felt the walls crumbling and try as I might; a sole tear escaped; and then another one.

And before I knew it I was bawling and Martha held me in her arms.

She wiped the tears from my face and stared at my sad disposition. "What is wrong Kate?"

I sniffled and wiped my nose with my hand. "What if he doesn't want me anymore?"

Martha shook her head like it was the silliest thing I'd ever said. "Why would you say that?"

I lifted my head so my eyes like emeralds in the sand stared at hers like oceans so blue. "I lost our baby."

And she pulled me to her. And we both cried. This was a story that she knew all too well as she spoke of the daughter she'd lost before Rick.

How she never thought any child would replace the one that she was ready to give to her ex-husband – way before her dance with Rick's father and then Rick came along.

I was so embarrassed; the strong NYPD detective had lost it over a gathering of cells that was now nothing.

Finally I pulled away from her; and asked the question that had been plaguing me ever since that night. "Do you think he'll still love me?"

Martha pulled me close again and whispered nothings to me. "He has been chasing you around for five years. Something that is not your fault will not cause him to lose faith or love in you Kate: We all still love you."

And just saying it out loud had lifted a weight from my shoulders. "How will I tell him?"

She smiled at me. "Just be honest with him. There's nothing else to do."

I stared at the clock; it had been almost three hours since Rick had headed off to bed. I knew he wouldn't be waiting up for me.

It had been a long week for Rick. Longer than my week; but for me the loss had been so much greater.

END PART VI

Read and Review, it gives me an incentive to write and tells me that someone is reading!


	7. Moments in Time, Part VII

Moments in Time, Part VII

By: AW

© March 2013

I walked to the bedroom and saw Rick sleeping so peacefully. I was home; Alexis was home, and for him his life was complete.

I slowly pulled my night clothes on and slipped into bed beside my hopefully soon to be husband. I was in love with a man who had loved me he said since almost the first moment he met me.

I curled against him and his hand instinctively landed on my belly. Feeling for the proof of a baby that was no longer there.

I let silent tears fall down my face thinking about the moment when I would have to tell Rick that I had lost his future.

I heard Rick mumble in his sleep, "You will be such a great mother Kate." And I felt the dam break again, the water flooding over my carefully built walls.

I was lost in the moment when it was shattered by a scream from upstairs. "No, you can't do that!"

And I rushed up the stairs, hoping to save Alexis from whatever nightmares plagued her dreams.

I saw her thrashing uncontrollably in the night as if a stranger was chasing her through her days and nights of horror.

I approached her bed and felt her jump into the safety of my arms. "It was so terrible."

I looked at the girl who had experienced what no teenager should. "It's okay Alexis; I'm here."

She hugged me and I saw the terror in her face. "I heard the screams, I wasn't the only one there." She looked at my tear stained face, "Are you okay Kate?"

I silently nodded, knowing now was not the time to break down or to share with her what I knew was true. Those were my screams she had heard during those nights. "I'm fine sweetie."

She looked me up and down and noticed the tears pooling in my eyes, but not escaping. "I'm just remembering what it was like there, that's all."

She shook her head, "Were we the only ones there?" She paused, "My dad was so scared for you and the baby Kate."

And that's when I lost it. "I think so Alexis I didn't see anyone else." And I knew that her quick little mind was putting two and two together. "Those screams were you?"

I nodded and hoped that she had not endured the torture that I had. "Did they hurt you Alexis?"

She shook her head, "They needed me alive." She stared at the yellowing marks around my eyes that the makeup from the day before no longer covered.

I lifted up my shirt and showed her the marks that were turning blue where the plank of wood had made contact.

Alexis let her hand come out almost touching the marks that were covering my body. She knew before I even said anything. "The baby?"

I shook my head. "It was brutal Alexis, but I couldn't let anything happen to you or your father."

She nodded her head and fell once again into my embrace. "They made me stay in a box. I felt like my life was over. They made me feel like if I didn't cooperate my life was over, and they had no qualms about ending dad's life too."

She closed her mouth not uttering another word. "I didn't know what to do, and when I heard the screams they told me if I wasn't careful I'd be next."

I watched the tears spill out of Alexis' eyes and hugged her even tighter. "Sometimes honey, we have to experience things like this to become the people we need to be."

Alexis nodded and motioned for me to continue the story. "For instance… had I not been shot, I never would have found my mother's killer." I smiled and looked Alexis on the eyes – blue just like her father's and grandmother's – and continued. "And most importantly I would never have been sure of the way your father thought of me."

She nodded and opened her mouth to ask me another question. She hesitantly asked, "Can I ask you something personal Kate? Dad said you don't really like to talk about it, so if you don't want to answer that's okay but –"

I cut off her babbling, curious about what she wanted to ask me. "Go ahead Alexis, you can ask me anything."

"How old were you when your mother died?"

I thought about it a little, then drew in a deep breath. I had to deal with this some day, and it was true that that moment had changed my life, for the better. "I was not much younger than you are now. I came home one day and there was a 'Detective Ragglin' waiting to tell us that my mother had been killed. They thought it was just random gang violence, but I always thought it was more." I looked at her, "Did you know that before that I was pre-law?"

At Alexis' shake of the head that told me that her father had never shared that with her. "After that day I decided I was going to be a cop and stop things like random muggings."

I let a smile grace my features, "And I wouldn't have met your father. That was probably the best thing that came out of it."

Alexis laughed, "Tell me again after like me you've lived with him for eighteen years."

I leaned over and hugged her. "You okay to get some sleep now?"

At her nod I looked at her seriously. "And remember I haven't told your father about the baby yet, I'm going to in the morning but please keep it to yourself."

She nodded, "Night Kate."

"Night Alexis."

I closed the door to Alexis' room and just about ran into Rick. "What was that all about?"

"I just let her talk about what happened to her in France; and I shared some of my experience, and I think we both feel better now knowing that we can talk to someone who has had some of the same horrific experiences."

Rick hugged her, "I'm glad she feels she can come to you if there's a problem."

Kate nodded, "Anytime Rick."

He looked at her curiously, "What do you need to tell me about our baby?"

I froze like a deer caught in the headlights. I looked down at the floor intent as if the answers were written there. "I lost her."

END PART VII

Read and Review! It keeps me writing.


	8. Moments in Time, Part VIII

Moments in Time, Part VIII

By: AW

© March 2013

Rick stared at me and I could see the tears in his eyes. "I know you wanted this Rick. I did too; but Alexis, she needed me too."

He nodded, "And because of that I love you more and more every day."

I stared at him wanting him to accept me and everything I was. "I'm tired Rick. I need to sleep."

Rick nodded his acceptance and I watched as left the room and I fell into a fast sleep.

[3 HOURS LATER – CASTLE LOFT, BEDROOM]

I awoke from a tired sleep. My bladder was full; and now that everything was taken care of except for me, I had to talk to Rick. Like me he was trying to catch up on his sleep.

I finished in the bathroom and snuggled up against Rick once more.

I needed the sleep and I was just hoping that I would get a couple of more hours of sleep before I had to get up and deal with everything.

[NOON – CASTLE LOFT]

Rick stared at Kate sleeping peacefully. She had had a hard time after Alexis was back. She had told him that she had lost the baby, but she had really said nothing about it.

He watched as she suddenly began thrashing and yelling; she was caught in a nightmare state.

"No! I'm pregnant not the baby!"

She made movements as if she were pushing the attacker away. Her hands were above her head, and she was thrashing.

Rick stared at her and knew he needed to know what had happened to her during that week.

She began the movement again. She began to cry silent tears in her sleep state. "I'm sorry Rick. I never meant for this to happen. I had to find Alexis."

He wanted to hold her while she wept for a child that wasn't even hers.

He couldn't watch her weep; for a child that could have been and for an action she had taken.

[KITCHEN]

He walked into the kitchen. Rick looked around seeing that there should be no one there.

It was noon, and granted it had been a hard time for his family, but still.

Just as he was wondering where everyone was, Martha breezed through the door. "Oh Richard. I am so glad that everyone is back and healthy."

Martha ran and embraced her son.

Rick stared sadly at his mother. "Not everyone came back safe and sound mother; Kate lost the baby." Rick watched as Martha stared at the floor refusing to look him in the eyes. She knew. "You knew already didn't you?"

Martha stayed silent refusing to either confirm or deny the fact. Finally she brought her head up and looked at him. "You have no idea how hard something like that is on a woman."

"And it's not hard on the man."

Martha glared at her son, "You were going to be a father Richard; she was already a mother."

Castle considered this. "She didn't even want that baby. She was going to throw –"

"She had no intention of going to France because of the baby, but you put the thought in her head. You put the idea in her mind and told her that her child was not as important as yours."

Rick was rearing for a fight at this point, "I never said anything like that and in fact I left her so she could be safe here, and I could go after Alexis."

"You left her without a note, without a parting word; just with the thought that if she didn't go you were over; pregnant or not."

Richard went to answer, "Did you even ask what she went through out there?"

Castle's mouth went up and down attempting to tell her off when Martha cut him off. "She was beaten and probably raped - and yes she did lose your baby but she went there searching for your daughter."

Castle sighed, "But she put my other child in danger and –"

Martha cut him off, "Right now she's free-falling. She doesn't know up from down. She has lost a baby that you both wanted and she hasn't dealt with anything. She needs you to understand, listen and forgive her for something that wasn't even her fault."

Richard drew in a deep breath, "I never thought I'd get the chance to be a parent again, and then it was gone before it had even had a chance to sink in."

Martha pulled him into a hug, "You need to be there for her. Right now this isn't about you; and it's not about Alexis. She needs it to be about her for once."

Richard bowed his head and nodded. He kissed his mother on the cheek. "Thank you."

Martha nodded and Richard went up to meet Kate again. He had to make it right.

[CASTLE LOFT – BEDROOM]

I felt the tears streaming down my face. I had been in this state since Rick left.

I have to make him see it wasn't my fault. I went there to help Alexis.

I went there to save my future step-daughter and the love of my life. 'One and done', I meant it. This was it for me and if it went away I'm not sure I'd make it.

I heard a knock on the door, and I called for entrance. Rick walked in and saw my state; then without a word or a sound of disapproval he came to me and hugged me. "We'll make it Kate; I'm not going anywhere."

END PART VIII

Remember to read and review, then at least I know someone wants me to write more.


	9. Moments in Time, Part IX

Remember to read and review. I wrote this chapter after a couple of people reading and saying they liked it and they 'needed' the next chapter. So here it is.

Enjoy!

AW

Moments in Time, Part IX

By: AW

© March 2013

I had to make him see this wasn't my fault. He told me he understood; but I couldn't help but wonder if this was him or Martha speaking.

I sighed. "Rick, we need to talk about this." I sighed and stared at him, "I need to tell you what happened to me during that time."

He nodded at me, but I wasn't sure he really understood. "I'm here for you, to listen to you no matter what Kate."

I needed to talk to someone about this. Try to figure out how I could make him understand.

I knew it was early, but I had to see my therapist again. He had been told of all my worries about Castle moving on, and he knew that at some point we had kissed and nothing had come of it.

After I had dealt with the issues with the shooting I had stopped going to see him; but maybe it was time to reprise my relationship with the doctor.

I shook Rick's shoulders. He finally opened his eyes and stared at me. "Kate?"

"I have to go see Dr. Burke I made an appointment with him for an hour from now."

Rick got an inquisitive look on his face then nodded his consent. "I thought you had finished seeing Dr. Burke."

"I had since everything was going so well, but maybe it's time to reprise that relationship."

Castle nodded and watched Beckett walk out of his room, he only hoped that she would come back to him.

[MORGUE]

Lanie stared at the corpse that she was being forced to autopsy for Esposito.

He thought because they were sleeping together that that gave him a special pass when it came to work matters.

She scoffed at this and then stared at the body and realized she was giving him favors even if it was subconsciously.

She sighed and picked up her phone. She rang her boyfriend, and demanded his presence in the morgue.

He acquiesced and she knew that he was going to be there soon.

She covered the body and waited for her beau to arrive.

[THERAPISTS OFFICE]

"I finally got what I wanted and I might have just thrown it away doing something he wanted me to do; something that wasn't even my fault."

Dr. Burke stared at the broken women in front of him. "Start at the beginning Kate."

I drew in a deep breath about to release my inner-most demons. "I guess it all started when Alexis was taken…"

[CASTLE LOFT – ALEXIS' ROOM]

Rick walked up the stairs. In all that had been going on he hadn't seen much of his daughter. If Kate needed to let things out, he was guessing Alexis did too.

He approached the door and knocked softly not wanted to startle his daughter.

When there was no answer he opened the door, seeing a dark room; and an angel sleeping in his daughter's bed.

He sat down on the edge of her bed and pushed the long red strands away from Alexis' face.

She mumbled in her sleep but would not awaken.

Much like Kate, she was trapped in a nightmare state.

She began screaming and Castle listened as he tried to put the pieces together into a comprehensive narrative.

She bolted up her blue eyes showing and not masking the fear she felt.

Alexis shook her head and threw herself into her father's protective hold. "It was so awful daddy. I wasn't sure if I would even get out of there alive."

Castle ran his fingers through her hair, untangling the messy locks. "We'll figure it out dear. Do you want to talk to someone?" Castle sighed and continued. "Kate when to see her therapist today to try to deal with what happened."

Alexis pulled back from his embrace and stared at her father. "I heard her dad, it was awful."

"What happened during your captivity?"

Alexis shook her head, "For me it was mainly psychological, I think Kate had a worse time with it."

"I'm going to ask you again, what happened?"

Alexis hesitated, "Have you talked to Kate about this yet?"

Castle froze. This was his eighteen-year-old daughter. Did he want to have that experience opened for all to see. "I… I haven't had a chance to go through everything with her."

"She's going to be your wife isn't she? Isn't time you talked with her before me?"

Castle thought about it, "No one will ever replace you in my life Alexis."

"Maybe not, but she will be a new part of your life that has nothing to do with me." She paused, "Maybe you should talk to her first – I heard her – whatever she went through it was worse then what I experienced."

Castle nodded a tiredness all of a sudden encompassing him. "When did my daughter grow up?"

Alexis smirked, "Sometime in the last ten years I'd assume."

Castle smiled and kissed his daughter on the forehead. "I'm going to lie down until Kate gets home. Remember I'm always here if you need me."

With that thought he exited Alexis' domain for the time being.

[THERAPIST'S OFFICE]

I felt as if my innermost thoughts and desires were on display for all to see.

In reality I realized that there was no one there but my doctor. No one to see the scars; no one to be privy to what had really happened. "I was hung up; like a piece of meat in a butcher's window. I was frozen with fear and physical restraints. My future was no longer in my hands."

The doctor stared at her and wondered if he dare broach the subject. "What were you feeling about Alexis?"

I stared at him shock showing in my green windows to the soul. "Over the past few months I had begun to think of her almost as a daughter. She was my first priority."

"Did you think Rick would blame you if his daughter didn't come home."

I had a fleeting thought of me showing up without Alexis. A selfish thought, but the thought of a woman who had been through more in her short time on Earth; than most people experienced in a hundred years.

"I know it sounds selfish, but all I could think about was getting back to my life and my fiancé," I paused collecting my thoughts, "And the baby I carried."

If a doctor could look shocked, at the moment he was.

I had dropped a bombshell and realized that it was the first time I had said it out loud.

[MORGUE]

Alexis walked into the morgue. It was always so cold and quiet: Death lived here.

She searched for Lanie, and wondered if perhaps she had been called into the field. As she turned to leave the Morgue, Lanie exited her back office and let out a surprised, "Alexis."

Alexis stared at her former mentor – and now she hoped – friend. "I'm sorry you must be busy."

Lanie gave one of her looks. "That's okay keeping Javie waiting once in a while keeps him on his toes."

Alexis smiled, "Is it okay if we talk for a bit?"

Lanie got a soft look on her face, all of a sudden letting go of the bravado. "Of course honey, that's what friends are for."

[THERAPISTS OFFICE]

"They raped me." I felt more tears approaching my eyelids. "They took something from me. Sex is a gift I choose not to give freely."

Dr. Burke stared at her, "You didn't give at all though did you? It was taken from you."

I knew this was true; but in the deep recesses of my mind, my heart felt as if it had betrayed Rick. "I didn't want to, and as they were assaulting me, all I could think of was 'Would Rick still want me after I was tainted?"

Dr. Burke stared at me. "Why do you think he would see you as tainted?"

"Tainted, dirty, I haven't been able to feel clean since I came back."

The therapist nodded as if understanding; but he didn't know. He didn't know what it was like to have the ground crumble beneath your feet. "I didn't feel like I deserved him before, now I just think I'm destroying him with my actions."

"Were those actions even under your control?"

I thought about it and then remembered I had taken the first step. I had gone to France against everyone's withes. "I had to save Alexis."

END PART IX


	10. Moments in Time, Part X

Moments in Time, Part X

By: AW

© March 2013

[SIX MONTHS LATER – BECKETT APARTMENT]

It has been six months. I had dealt with so much in that time. The rape, the beatings, the loss of my child.

I was sure that he wouldn't want to marry me anymore, that the baby was the breaking point in the relationship; Alexis was safe.

I had been told m0any times that Alexis was the priority, now she was safe.

I let a tear fall down my face; but it was not a tear of sadness but of happiness. Here comes my one and done.

This was it, four hours from now I would be Kate Castle.

I wiped the tears from my face and waited for Lanie to show up, to help me prepare for the day; the only day of my life that mattered from now on.

The phone rang and I picked it up, it showed me it was Rick. "Beckett."

"Kate, you ready to become Mrs. Castle?"

"I want to come and see you. We can work on the wedding preparations together."

I heard his fear; irrational fear. "No! I saw both my other brides before the wedding day and those weddings broke up. This one I'm keeping by the book, this marriage will work and we will be together forever."

I smiled, "One and done Castle, if I didn't think this would work I wouldn't have said yes."

I heard a knock on the door and walked towards the entrance to my apartment. "I have to go Castle, Lanie is here."

"I love you Kate. See you soon."

I hung up and opened the door. Lanie rushed through the door and saw me still in jeans and a tee-shirt. "Girl, are you ready to become Mrs. Castle?"

She hugged me, and I knew that everyone was on our side. "Let's get you ready for your big day Kate."

[CASTLE LOFT]

"Mother, this is the one. She is the one I have been searching for my whole life."

Martha walked up to her son and embraced him in a hug. "I know dear. I like her."

"Oh and you're saying you didn't like Gina, or Meredith?"

Martha rolled her eyes, "It was always your choice dear; but this one has my personal seal of approval."

He stared at his mother, "Mom, I love you, thank you." He paused, "Now I need to get ready for my wedding."

Martha nodded and watched Rick go to his room to get ready for his day.

[KATE'S APARTMENT]

Lanie set up the makeup and the hair products. She just waited, she wanted to see the dress that she had chosen. "Come on girl, I want to see that dress."

I came out of my bathroom, wearing the dress that would finally attach me to a man. The man of my dreams.

The ivory bodice, and the white lace, accentuated my body. The sleeveless dress showed the arms of a cop, toned and thin.

"Girl you look spectacular. That man of yours has good taste."

"You don't even want to know how much this dress cost him Lanie."

Lanie laughed, "To him I don't think it matters."

I hugged Lanie, and sat down to get my hair and makeup fixed for that afternoon.

[CASTLE LOFT]

Martha knocked on Rick's bedroom door. "Richard, are you almost ready?"

Castle stared at himself in the mirror; he looked ready to start his new life. Rick heard voices and realized instantly it was Alexis.

"Alexis! I'll be right out." He finished tying his bow tie and exited the room.

He walked out of the door and the girls looked at him in his tux and ready for the day.

He stared at Alexis and Martha. "You girls look beautiful."

They smiled, Alexis in her lilac dress holding the flowers that she would have standing beside his wife.

He smiled at them both, "Are we ready to go?"

Martha nodded and they all made their way to the Hamptons. It was where Gina had set up the wedding.

[KATE'S APARTMENT]

Lanie had just finished my make-up. She had fixed my hair, I felt the curls traveling down my back.

I had let my hair grow down to almost my waist, and it was tumbling down my back in soft waves and curls.

I turned around and stared in the mirror at the beautiful make-up job and hair design she had done left me speechless.

The purple eye-liner and pale eyeshadow made my green eyes stand out, especially against the white dress that hung from my frame.

I took in a deep breath, "I think I'm ready Lanie, let's head to the Hamptons."

Lanie nodded and off we went.

[CASTLE LOFT]

Martha stared at her son and her granddaughter. She was giving him away to a woman other than herself once again; and hopefully this would be it.

She thought about Kate. She was not the kind of woman to beat around the bush, for her this was it.

Martha knew that the past six months had been hard on Kate. Trying to deal with the beatings and everything else; but eventually she had come to a sort of peace with her problems.

Dr. Burke she knew had been a big help for her; as he had been after the shooting.

She praised and respected the woman who had gone through so much in her life and had still found it in herself to love her son.

To love her granddaughter – a child that biologically wasn't even hers.

She smiled and looked at herself in the mirror. She was a little old to be a bridesmaid; but Beckett had insisted.

So off the family went.

A future unfolding.

[HAMPTON'S – 3PM]

I stared at the beautiful job Gina had done setting Rick's summer house up for our wedding.

I heard a voice in the background and knew Meredith had made her way there.

I had made her a bridesmaid, Castle said it wasn't good to piss off his ex-wives so I had agreed.

But this was my day.

And no one was ruining it.

Not for anything.

I stared at the cameras and the publicists making the rounds; taking pictures of not only the house that was set up for our nuptials, but the wedding party who had arrived.

And so I waited.

Rick would be here soon.

[VANTAGE POINT – HAMPTONS]

The man stared at the red-head through the scope of his gun.

This would be an easy shot, her red hair making her stand out for him and everyone else.

After today Alexis Castle would be no more.

[HAMPTONS – OUTSKIRTS OF HAMPTONS]

Rick sat in the car and waited to see what Gina had done to his house.

They slowly drove up the drive-way that was a good kilometer long and he stared at the press that had made its way out here to see his wedding.

He hoped Kate knew what she was getting herself into.

Finally the car stopped and the two girls got out. His mother and his daughter, stopping and posing for the cameras.

They had been in the limelight with Richard long enough to know how they were expected to act when the press was there.

Rick in some ways regretted that his daughter had grown up in the limelight, but in other ways he wouldn't change a thing.

He smiled to himself and looked out at all the people who had come to view their union.

He saw Kate standing and talking to Meredith and Martha. She was so beautiful in the white dress they had chosen together. He knew he wasn't supposed to see her before their vows, but he couldn't help himself.

The man at the piano saw Rick and began playing Pacabel's Canon a typical wedding jaunt; they were going to walk down the aisle with poise and grace.

Castle went to the front and waited for his bride to make her way down the aisle.

[HAMPTON'S – BEGINNING OF THE JOURNEY]

I stared at the front of the aisle where Castle stood with Ryan and Esposito. He hadn't been able to decide who to make his best man so they both stood at his side, promising if he ever caused any harm to Kate that they would be there to clean up the mess that was left of Richard Castle.

I smiled thinking about how protective they were towards me and took my father's arm to lead me down the aisle.

This was it; for me it was 'One and Done'; and here I went.

I reached the front of the 'stage' and stared at my soon-to-be husband.

He stared at me and took my hand, ready to begin his vows. "From the first moment I met you, I knew that I had to be a part of your life. I watched as you almost died in my arms from a sniper hit; and stood back as you depended on Josh."

He paused as he collected his thoughts. My writer trying to figure out what to say.

"I loved you even then. You weren't ready to admit it or tell me that you were willing to take that chance; but I knew. And today proves that to all."

I stared at him and knew that it was my turn to make my vows to him known. "Rick; I met you on an arrest charge. You were pompous and arrogant, and handsome. I thought you would be nothing more than a thorn in my side, but that thorn healed so many wounds. You listened to me when I needed to talk; you held me when I was scared. You loved me when you weren't sure and you waited for me to finally see the truth. For that I will love you forever and always."

I saw the bridesmaids wiping the tears from the eyes at the beauty of the proclamations.

I felt the love in their eyes, and I saw the patience in Rick's face. I loved him.

The priest stared at us, and began his recitation. "Do you Richard Castle take Katherine Beckett as your wife, in sickness and in health for always?"

Rick smiled at me, "I do."

He stared at me, "And do you Katherine Beckett take Richard Castle as your husband in sickness and in health until death do you part?"

Kate nodded, "I do."

"Then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

We smiled at each other. We were officially married. I heard the priest tell Rick he may now kiss the bride, and felt his lips approach me for the first time as his wife.

[VANTAGE POINT – HAMPTONS]

The man stared at the happiness unfolding before him. He watched as Alexis Castle moved around refusing to stay still.

Finally she turned around and he got a shot at the mane of red hair.

He was about to take the shot when she bent over to pick up something that she had dropped in the lush green grass of the Hamptons home.

The girl stood up and rushed to her mother; staring at the back of both women's heads he paused making sure it was the right red-head he was taking out.

Alexis walked over to Kate and gave both her father and her new mother-in-law a hug.

He placed his finger on the trigger and shot as Meredith ran in front of Alexis.

The assassin watched as the mother keeled over when the bullet pierced the back of her head.

He shook his head and began packing up the gun and the bullets.

His boss would not be pleased with the mistake.

[HAMPTONS – RECEPTION]

I heard the sound of a bullet hitting the air and instinctively ducked as I watch Meredith's body crumple. "Everyone down."

I pulled the gun out of the area where it had been stashed behind the piano. I slowly watched as Castle went over to his daughter and pulled her back from the body of his ex-wife and the mother of his child.

Slowly I stared over the sight line where the bullet must have come from and saw no one. These people were professionals.

At the empty field, I assured everyone that I'd secured the area. Rick ran over to me and made sure I was okay. I nodded and felt him pull me into a hug as if making sure I was really okay.

I stared over to where Alexis was seated and saw the tears falling down her cheek.

What a way to start a life together.

Once Rick ran over to Meredith's body and checked for a pulse he called 911 hoping that they could do something for his former love.

I saw Rick let tears roll down his cheeks and brought him to me.

Meredith and I had had our disagreements but this wasn't right. My life would never be uncomplicated.

I heard another shot and wondered how I had missed the assassin.

I moved everyone into the house and called the police telling there had been a shooting.

As I stared at the television I noticed that the news was already all over the story; it was no longer simply the marriage of Richard Castle; but was now the sight of a shooting.

I hadn't realized how many people were there that were press. Before we even had the facts my life was all over the news.

Inside the house, I walked towards Gina; my head on fire. "I thought you had the place secured. This was supposed to be our day."

Gina looked away guiltily and turns to stare into the eyes of the 'New Mrs. Castle'. "We've both been there Kate, the novel of Rick Castle will wear off."

I stared at the woman who used to hold my place in Rick's heart and life. "Maybe it wore off for you; but for me it never will."

Gina almost laughed at that answer, "That's we all thought dear."

I glared at her and when she looked at me smugly I had the urge to slap her for ruining my day. "You were supposed to make sure it was safe."

"I'm not a cop, you are. Shouldn't you have been the one to make sure this went smoothly?"

Gina glared at me once again and I hauled back and slapped the smug look off her face. "You almost ruined my day; you need to get out of Rick's life except for as his publicist."

Gina turned and without another word, walked away from Kate.

Rick walked up to me. "Dare I ask what that was all about?"

"Nothing important Rick, let's go usher the paramedics into the area."

The newlywed couple walked to the front entrance and waited for the cops who had been called to let the paramedics in.

When they arrived they ushered the medical personnel towards Meredith's still form.

The paramedic approached Castle, "Are you the husband?"

Rick stepped back, "Ex-husband."

"Do you know who is the victim's next of kin?"

Rick shook his head. This had been a long time ago that he had known this information about her. "I have her mother's contact information at my house."

The paramedic nodded and they proceeded towards Meredith's still form. "We have a pulse; prepare to transport her to New York Memorial Hospital."

We watched as they placed Meredith on a backboard and loaded her into the ambulance.

Rick approached me. "I never wanted anything like this to happen. This was supposed to be 'Our Day'. A happy day."

I nodded and brought Rick's head down to stare at me "I love you."

Rick nodded as silent tears fell down his face. "That is Alexis' mother."

I nodded, "Speaking of Alexis, where is she?"

Rick wiped the tears from his face and stared at Kate, "My mom took her home."

I stared at him. "Do you think that everyone is safe now?"

Rick sighed, "I called the 12th precinct and told Gates what happened. My loft is now under surveillance. The target was Alexis."

I let my jaw drop open not in surprise but in the stead of answering his statement. "Are we going back to the loft?"

"We're a married couple now. What were you going to do? Go back to your apartment? Hell of a way to start off a marriage."

I shook my head in the negative. "Never; I want to be with you forever. That's what marriage means."

"I never meant for our life together to start as a tragedy."

He stared at me, "With us, there has always been that undertone of tragedy Kate."

I stared at him unbelieving of what he had just said. "What's that supposed to mean Rick?"

"Nothing Kate. It doesn't mean anything."

"Well it must have meant something Rick; you said it."

He sighed, "It meant nothing Kate. I'm just really upset about the fact that Alexis' life is still in danger."

"You said that your house is under surveillance now."

Rick stared at me and sighed, "You remember when you almost got blown up in your own apartment that was 'under surveillance'?"

I stared at him unbelieving that he was bringing this up now. "I sent them away that time, it seemed safe."

"You're so high on the NYPD being the best. I know you're proud of your job and your position, but the NYPD isn't perfect."

"Let's drop this and go home."

Rick stared me, he looked at the wedding dress and the beautiful hair and all of a sudden I felt loved and cherished. "I want us to go home and have a wonderful honeymoon."

He raised an eyebrow. "Now that I can get into that."

I smiled and stared at my new husband. "Rick we'll get through this; and Meredith will be fine."

Rick looked down at his hands. "Don't promise me something if you aren't sure."

I remembered a time when he had told me that about Alexis. No matter what Meredith would be part of his life for as long as either of them walked this Earth. She was Alexis' mother and she would be forever in their lives.

I stared at my new husband. I had to make this work. This was it.

I had spent so much time trying to get this right, I had spent months in therapy. Although Rick had not been told of much that had gone on, I knew that we were going to be okay.

I knew we'd get through this.

He took my hand and we headed off home.

END PART X


End file.
